Love and other catastrophies…

Today didn’t start well.

We had a cow die.
A new one we hadn’t even milked here.
Died calving because she got her back down hill between checks.

Nan always said ‘where you have live ones, you’ll have dead ones’. She was right.

I found her. Went home and told hubby and he lost it.

That brings me to todays musings – how people handle life.

My husband uses the ‘swear, yell and use brute force’ method of dealing with life.  And I actually pondered not telling him till after milking knowing he’d be such a joy to be around. He wastes so much energy on what he can’t fix he forgets about everything else going on. Worrying about the cow that died didn’t feed the actual living cows in the bales this morning – I did. I also checked the “bucket cows” – ones that can’t get milked into the vat for various reason – went on the bucket and that all the difficult cows were milked out properly. With him taking all his anger and frustration out on everything. I told him if he couldn’t get his act together he should go home. Would have been easier.

There’s a Pink song that describes our marriage perfectly doing the rounds at the moment called “True Love”.

I have never seen the point of worrying about things that can’t be fixed. Or jealousy. Or wanting what you can’t have.

I see farmers around here going mad because it refuses to rain. We can’t make it rain so why not put all that energy into figuring out how we are going to handle this dry spell and what we can learn for next time. We all know they happen. And that eventually it will rain.

To a lot of farmers it gets to the point of despair – money, feed, water – where does it end. They either take it out on everyone around them or worse still internalise.

Do people not see how their actions play a part on the life of everyone they live with. And how their own health suffers. Mental and physical.

I am at a loss as to how to address this issue at home. I’m sure I’m not alone in this.

I have tried to lead by example. Stay calm, just get on with the job. I need to say here that I wasn’t always like this and need to thank the wonderful friends I have met in Nutrimetics for teaching me to trust myself and my ability to handle things with grace and dignity.

Which kind of proves we can change habits of a lifetime –  if we choose.

It does makes me wonder if he can handle the stress involved with milking twice as many cows as we are now.

If only we could all be as relaxed as my calves look today.

Calves napping

2 thoughts on “Love and other catastrophies…

  1. An interesting read. I think it is a man thing. We all bitch about the things we can’t fix and often miss out on the bigger picture. It is passion coming out, now if only we could tap that and be productive with it. Staying calm is easier said than done. Farming in recent times has gone from an easy laid back profession, to one that is full of daily stresses. It’s a shame because the lifestyle is often the most appealing aspect of it. Increasingly farming is becoming competitive and less about the love of it. Always hard to get over the death of a farm animal, especially when you’ve raise them like children. Life and death on the land are the constants. Sometimes you have to accept it was probably just fate and try and do everything you can to prevent unnecessary deaths. In business if you’re prepared to make money you have to also be prepared to lose it. Similarly with farm animals you can’t expect birth without acknowledging the inevitable death. Or as they say sometimes ‘shit happens!’

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